I can only intellectualize things so far before I need to check in to see if I’m still in my body.

When does reflection turn into over analysis? I think I’m prone to this as a neurodivergent person.

Even when I'm scribbling in my notebook on the couch so I don't wake my partner at 4:30 am, trying to try to connect the dots of why I woke up hyperventilating again... (was it the late night sugar, the suspenseful show watched before bed...?)

a part of me realizes that this is only a prerequisite of awareness, not the full picture.

True awareness brings some level of acceptance and surrender.

This doesn't mean passivity, it just means not staying stuck...

because if I only stay in the venting and lamenting phase, I spiral;
I never rest or let there be intuitive answers or permitted unknowns if I’m only ever tracking and trying to find patterns rather than stepping back and zooming out.

This doesn't always happen all at once and I don't rush myself when I do just need to spiral into my journal.

There's no judgment on the time it takes - what matters is that I trust myself to remember this isn't the end of the road.

So I need to practice pausing,
That moment where I drop it all and allow space for sense to come naturally.

I need to practice feeling, Like truly tuning into the waves of worry about my health mixed with frustration at not being able to fall back asleep pulsating beneath my thoughts…

I need to allow space and embrace all the parts of myself that I don’t fully understand or accept beyond my intellect.

I need to release or return to keep practicing until I am centered enough to trust, to know, to embody my present experience and next steps.

This only happens through practice;
Through returning again and again to the mental spirals that are actually cycles -

Reminders that there is a center; there is another way.

Only after both letting myself release, analyze, spiral a bit, and then practice re-grounding into my center was I able to fall back asleep on the couch at an awkward angle that was better than being bug-eyed and delirious into the day.

If I was able to practice this half-asleep at an hour of day I'm normally never awake, I bet it can help you when you're cooking dinner and the cat or kids start screaming.

I teach the ins and outs of what helps me when logic isn't working through a self-paced course called Cyclical Mindfulness that includes a practice workbook, guided practices, and (right now) access to our first ever upcoming community practice event.

Click this link to join if you want to help strengthen your sense of center alongside community.

And if you’re unsure - I invite you to receive this free meditation anyways. <3
You’ll have to join our free Cyclical Community to access it - no strings though!

xoxo,

Gratefully Connected,

Rachael Amber (they) of Cyclical Roots

P.S… This is not a one-size-fits all method.

This is a malleable, fluid, and adaptable framework to help apply to your specifics - not the other way around.

This is a practice, not a finished product.

I struggle to even call this a "course" - it's more of a guide (but it's more than just a booklet) and a "template", a shape of a practice and essence of a mindset and way of living...

It's not a magic wand, it's a launchpad, a landing pad to return back to when you're floating too far from home...

Cyclical Mindfulness is something that will not just change you, but change and shape as you work with it - without having to mold it, it will support you like water shapes to a swimmer's body.

This practice is the surface "tension" which allows you to buoyantly float in a pool on your back if only you relax into it.

It's simplicity and complexity in one.

It's succinct and clarifying.

It's a synthesis of so many practices and aspects of what I've learned and processed... into a set of repetitive support guidance.

Let's not mistake simplicity for lesser - let's recognize it as a blessing in this world of way too much.

I've sucked out all the distractions and given you a formula to sit with.

Just like no-thing is the same each orbit the Earth laps around the Sun, no part of you will be the same after each time you practice with it... even if you don't notice it right away. Subtle shifts and practices are sometimes the most powerful.

Think about how often something makes sense only when you're spaced out in the shower, or when you're staring at a sunset... that clarity when all the clouds have faded, and how blissfully simple it feels.

That's the place Cyclical Mindfulness helps you access with more ease than effort.

And I want to give it for you for the one-time exchange for $47 (or just $29 in this bundle), because the world can't wait for more of us to feel centered and resourced within ourselves and our place.


If you resonated with this at all, please click the heart button below so I can know 🙏💖 and if you'd like to connect and converse, or have questions to ask, feel free to leave a comment! 👇


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Fluid & Rooted is a free space where I share my poetry, writings, drawings & more in hopes of offering you connection and inspiration. You can subscribe for free to receive notice of new shares. Supporting subscriptions are optional but always appreciated and will be rewarded with shop discounts & more.

July 17, 2024 — Rachael Amber

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